Today a fellow artist said to me;
That quote made me think. I wasn't offended at all, rather I realised they were right, and had just described my working style in a sentence. It inspired me to write this post, to explain why I don't spend a long time doing pieces.
The piece they were referring to, I did it in an hour. In fact, most of my pieces are done in this time frame, as they usually result from me being incredibly anxious and using my art to relax.
I never really thought of that as a bad thing until the past few years, when I've seen the dedication of some artists, and I really respect and admire how long they can spend on one piece. I however, struggle to concentrate for more than an hour, and I'm incredibly indecisive. I can't sit and plan a piece, because I will think of a million ideas, then just never do them. Often, I will write down ideas, then start a piece and it will go in a completely different direction. So I try to not do that anymore, and instead embrace my impulsiveness, and focus on how I feel in the moment, rather than constantly thinking of the end result. It's saved me a lot of stress and therefore seizures, It's a very weird way of working, and with my insomnia I usually work at night too, but it seems to work for me.
However, that's not to say my pieces don't require effort. A lot of the time, I have to push myself to do a piece. I mean, as I do them usually when I'm feeling anxious, if anyone has anxiety, you'll know the last thing you wanna do is concentrate on something. But, I know now that it actually really helps me, and it's in those moments that I have created some of my best works. They also mean something, and it shows that you can use your problems to help you create personal pieces.
My main point of this post is that I've finally accepted that I work in an unusual way. I admire artists who spend a long time on their pieces, and I will keep trying ways to push myself to be able to do this. However, for now I've accepted that this is how I work, and I want to embrace that.